Saturday, July 25, 2009

don't turn around cause the reason is treason

I had something good to write about but i wanna be quick so I'll write that tomorrow. Today's thoughts:

I can't wait to have tattoos. I want a thistle (for the homeland), a dreamcatcher (for my calling), and quotes (because they're wondrous).

The quotes are the quotes I try to live by and hopefully one day will.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
"May I live simply that others may simply live."

Both Gandhi. I want them on the backs of my arms. My parents will faint.

Google image "funny tattoos."  Hours of entertainment.  

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

you know that I could use somebody

I haven't blogged in forever so this one's going to be shit. I managed to spend a whole week in an area with no internet and little phone reception. Kinda liked it. Back now. Stressed out. Nervous. Fat.

"Meaty" as I like to say. Bought liquid leggings after swearing to myself I never would due to my meatiness.

Went to NASA today. Would like to go to the moon for a quick jaunt.


Would like to put an "n" at the end of random. Randomn. I like that.

Hid a tiny bottle of vodka in my underwear today. Don't ask. Or do.

In love with big brother to the point that I strategize for every player and sometime imagine I'm in the game.

Would like to be friends with Megan Fox. Would like to see the other half of her nose and where it went. Would like to ask where she got her boobs and lip injections from. They look nice.

Falling back in love with classics. George. Leo. Matt. Mark. Older fellas.

Also in love with Jared Followill. Nobody knows who that is. That's okay.

Apologizing for the shitty bloggage. I'll get back on pace

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

just call my name, and I'll be there

I watched the Michael Jackson memorial service today. I was excited to see the performers and who was there and what would be said and to see a few renditions of his numbers.

I am the first to admit, I am a crier. I have been known to cry during winnie the pooh's grand adventure, every episode of the biggest loser, dance fever finales, and during most E! true hollywood stories. I went into today, however, with no expectation or intentions of crying.

You should have seen me by the end of the service. Uncontrollable blankets of tears. I can't remember last time I cried so hard.

This seems really strange to me. I didn't know Michael, obviously. I can't tell you every one of his songs; I was not even around for his prime. Right from the get-go, with Mariah Carey's song, I cried. Brooke Sheilds spoke. I cried. His brother spoke. Tears. His daughter spoke. Uncontrollable saddness.

Perhaps it is the fact that I had overlooked the simple truth of who he was; human. He had a family who loved him and little kids who don't have real parents or friends anymore.

He was just a guy who was terribly misunderstood his entire life.

Monday, July 6, 2009


Hoy, trabajo todo el dia.  Fue muy aburrido, pero trabajo en liquor y siempre es aburrido.  Limpio todo la tienda y ayudo muchos hombres con su bebidos.  Un hombre no fue contento porque nosotros no tienen su cigarillos.  Tengo transformers en mi computadora.  La pelicula no es muy muy bueno, pero me gusta verlo.  Estoy ver wheel de fortune y cocina curry de pollo por cena.  Manana, voy a ir a la pescina de mis vecinos para nadar.  Espero que hecha calor.  

Saturday, July 4, 2009

throw down your arms, give up the fight

Today is what we like to call "Independence day" so I thought in celebration, I would give a few thoughts on independence.  Not really general thoughts, more like thoughts on my own independence.

I can't decide whether I am independent or not.  Financially, I'm obviously not.  I do not pay my cell phone bill.  I do not pay for my tuition, though my parents don't pay for that yet, either.  I don't buy our groceries or vacations.  Things I do pay for:  my volunteer trip.  clothes.  trips to chicago.  things i "want."

I am shy.  This hinders independence.  I get nervous and don't like to do things on my own.  I will often ask "will you come in with me" or sometimes the occasional "can you just ask for me."  That is in reference to some kind of customer service, mind you, not sixth grade boyfriends.

Part of me has always been independent though.  My parents had kids in 1976, 1978, and 1981.  Oh yeah, then 1990.  By the time I came along, I think they were too tired to really raise another one.  I am not at all complaining, or saying my parents are bad parents.  I love my mommy a lot and I'm sure if I knew my dad better, I would love him a lot too.  I do love him, just not the same way as my mom.  Anyway, I've never had a curfew or been grounded.  They already had chosen their favorites before I got here.

Independence is supposed to change a lot when you first go to college.  I guess it kind of did.  Now it just feels like I was at a really long summer camp last year, though.  

I want to one day live in another country for an extended amount of time.  I want to study abroad.  In Cairo.  My parents have kaphoshed that.  Can't wait to see their reaction when I tell them I'm off to live in Afghanistan.  I hope one day to be independent enough to accomplish my dreams.  It'll be a real damn disappointment if I'm not.

Happy independence day!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

He come grooving up slowly

I started another book today. I hope this one goes well. Have hit dead ends with the Assassins, Pakistani family, and Russian mob in the early twentieth century books. Hopefully I'll come back to those.

Writing takes too much research. I really like the idea of this new one I'm doing. The fact that it doesn't take much research made me a touch hesitant at first, but then again, my completed book didn't take research either though. Maybe this one will be book length!

(a few hours later)
I have decided I am going to finish this one.  Maybe I will try to do the full-length in the month of July, to copy a fellow blogger.  175 pages is a bit ambitious, but 100 pages is only three per day.