Saturday, December 26, 2009

i wish i was special

have you ever felt like the biggest asshole in the entire world? i have. i do currently.

it's late and it's christmas and it's private so i won't go into detail much. i'm just in a shitty spell. one of those "oh crap, everything i'm doing is a mistake."

it's really weird to wish that somebody hated you. A couple weeks ago i was upset because i thought i was hated. i don't know if it's personality or insecurity, but i've always had a really big problem with people being mad at me. i can't stand it. it makes me want to curl up in a ball and sleep for years. but that's all i want right now.

i want you to hate me.

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