have you ever felt like the biggest asshole in the entire world? i have. i do currently.
it's late and it's christmas and it's private so i won't go into detail much. i'm just in a shitty spell. one of those "oh crap, everything i'm doing is a mistake."
it's really weird to wish that somebody hated you. A couple weeks ago i was upset because i thought i was hated. i don't know if it's personality or insecurity, but i've always had a really big problem with people being mad at me. i can't stand it. it makes me want to curl up in a ball and sleep for years. but that's all i want right now.
i want you to hate me.